an evening ride & anxiety

shirt – c/o Modcloth
shorts – thrifted
backpack – c/o Romwe
shoes – c/o Blowfish

Last week  I went on my first evening ride since I fixed my bike up. The temperatures finally seem to be leveling off and it was the first evening that it wasn’t sweltering hot. I’m aware I sound like a big wimp, but I really don’t handle the heat well. The slightest bit of heat and my cheeks are bright red and I’m feeling wiped out. Anyway, the bike ride was fantastic. It felt so good to be back on my bike.

…So good that I decided to make myself a little goal to go out on a ride the next morning by myself. That sounds like a silly goal but some time in the last three years (since moving into this house) I became like a hermit. I dread talking to my neighbors for really no particular reason. I swear they’re nice people, I’m just awkward.  So this lead to me only going outside for very brief periods of time, really just to check the mail or water my plants. Even then it sometimes took a little talking it up to myself and checking out the window to make sure no one was out there.

Anyways, I did it and I’ve since made a habit of these bike rides. Right now they’re just short, around the block but eventually I’d like to build enough endurance to ride around town. It feels amazing to go outside, enjoy the fresh morning air and the nice neighborhood I live in. I’m still feeling a little bit anxious while riding but doing better each day. I can’t wait until I can look back and realize how stupid all of this was.

I’m not sure when all of a sudden I turned into a big ball of anxiety but after realizing just how bad it was I’m 100% determined to kick it’s butt. I don’t want to live in fear of talking to strangers and even worse, being afraid to go in my own yard for no good reason.

Hope you’re having a fabulous day. I’m heading off on a bike ride now! 😉

PS. I’m totally cracking up over how dusty my feet and legs are in that last picture! I didn’t even realize.

Author: Kaylah

Just a green haired gal from Cleveland, Ohio.

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  • Go you! I used to have that exact same problem, but I've been working a lot with myself the last few years and I've improved loads. Small steps, or bike rides, help loads!

    And what an incredibly cute bike!

  • Kaylah, you are such a sweet soul. And you are so brave for speaking about your anxiety. So many people suffer from anxiety and everyone who does, feels alone 🙁

    I overcame anxiety with homeopathy. I had a slew of symptoms that came on slowly after having my wisdom teeth pulled in my early twenties and I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one this has happened to. Before then, I could be shy and maybe anxious a bit now and then but it turned into full blown anxiety after that.

    I can still get anxious about things at times, but the anxiety attacks have never returned and I don't fear going out in public anymore. That experience inspired me to become a homeopath and I have seen many other people use homeopathy successfully for anxiety as well. I hope you don't mind me saying this, I know you didn't ask for advice. But because I understand how debilitating anxiety can be, I felt drawn to tell you my experiences.

    Your bike is so incredible! It's great to hear you're enjoying it!

  • Wow I can so relate on the social anxiety/being a hermit and it is great to read in your latest post about how you are now so much more confident. I am struggling with getting out of the house at the moment and I am so awkward with people, I think when you stay in the house to much it becomes a habit and a safe haven. Hopefully sometime soon I will be conquering my fears too!