Life Lately

I think one of the hardest things about working for yourself, especially in a creative field, is the silly rules you make and the limitations you put yourself. I know I’ve talked briefly in the past about how I have a lot of rules about how I do things, about what my blog posts should look like, and when I post. Having those rules is so incredibly stressful, especially when you’re in a funk. I’m sure I’m not the only one but sometimes it just feels like I have this dark cloud hovering over me and I can’t seem to shake it. I can’t pinpoint one thing in particular that is even bad or making me feel this way. I can’t figure out why but this week has be rough. This dark cloud has put a cramp in my creativity and it’s driving me crazy because this blog is my livelihood – I have to be writing, taking pictures, running things behind the scenes! I know that I have to take care of myself before I’m able to get back to creating the way I want to so I’ve spent the majority of the week doing all the things I really love, even if it’s with a little bit less enthusiasm than usual. 

Saturday we got out at sunrise and did some exploring. I didn’t take too many photos but I am pretty excited about the first two here. The third one is just cool to me because of what it is – a pool! Even if I wasn’t feeling the shots it felt good to get out. One of my favorite parts about exploring abandoned buildings is the adventure of it. Some of my favorite places I’ve been weren’t necessarily interesting inside but fun to get to. Climbing a tree to reach an opening, getting a boost from a friend, etc.

Bikes. Bikes. Bikes. I am 100% not sorry I talk about my bike all the time. I love this thing more than iced chai, more than orange chicken, more than nearly everything. I’m still going strong on my 30 days of biking challenge. There really couldn’t be a more perfect time for this challenge to be happening because its been the push I need to get out of the house. Fresh air will always improve my mood. Kinda funny to post the photo below and be like “what a baaaaad week” but that’s what my bike does to me, y’all! Smiles all around.  More from that outfit post here.

I was lurking my own instagram and realized it was right around this time last year when I met Jesi. The first time we hung out was in the abandoned middle school which still holds the number one spot in my heart. I’ve posted a ton of photos of this place but these two outtakes might be some of my favorites. Jesi and I are hilariously awful at smoke bombs. In the first photo we’re laughing because we were choking on smoke and in the second laughing because she threw one directly at me “on accident”. These photos make me smile. I’m glad that girl is in my life, also so glad I never deleted these. See more posts about this school : here, herehere + here.

I know that I share photos of these guys all the time but seriously pets make everything better. I can’t imagine life without animals in it. It makes me happy to see how happy and comfortable they look. I think they might love this apartment even more than I do. And Professor and Squid laying that close? It melts my heart. They’re not enemies by any means, they just aren’t two cats that cuddle together.

This week I managed to finish up two skulls that I’ve had macerating since the end of last year. I was actually pretty sure they’d be ruined from sitting so long but to my surprise they were even more beautiful than imagined. The deer is my new pride and joy. I have wanted a deer skull with antlers, sometimes called a European mount, for so long. I don’t hunt, no one in my family does, and the chances of finding one dead with antlers in the woods was slim to none. I’ve seen deer in the woods with their antlers sawed off, and deer on the side of the road with their heads removed. Yeah…needless to say, people are super weird and obsessed with antlers. Anyway someone who works with my dad learned I collected skulls and has been sending home dead stuff with my dad. Totally awesome! I also have a beaver skull out on my deck in the very last stages of cleaning so that’s pretty exciting. It’s been such a long time since I finished up any skulls.

Other good things worth mentioning;
โ–ด I started shaving with coconut oil instead of shaving cream. Holy smokes. I hate everyone who ever withheld that information from me. My legs are stupid soft. I will never shave with anything else again. The best part is that I’m so pumped with the results I actually want to shave. PS. Trader Joes sell 16oz for $5.99 which is one heck of an amazing deal! 
โ–ด I bought a new desk for sewing! I actually work on a glass top desk which freaked me out to be sewing on. I’m sure it’s way more sturdy than I give it credit for but I just imagine it shattering as I’m sewing. I also wanted a dedicated area to sew at so I wouldn’t constantly have to be moving my computer. I’m really excited about it looks in this room, and I’m even more excited to work at it. I’ve had the fabric for the next round of pouches for a week or so but was holding off until the desk got here. It’s on now!!!

I normally try to steer clear of super personal stuff like this, mostly because the majority of bad feelings are so fleeting that it seems silly to even acknowledge them. I do feel it’s important to share a little bit more from time to time though. I certainly don’t mean to sound all “woe is me”.  Honestly, I feel better just sharing this, admitting that I’m having tough week for no darn reason at all and that it’s affecting my motivation, so much so that I’m sitting here thinking “should I even post this?!” Maybe the biggest thing that was bothering me was trying to pretend nothing was bothering me and just trying to power through it. Does that make sense? I dunno! But here’s to hoping next week is better than this one, and even if it’s not I’ll keep on trying my hardest to make it awesome.
xoxo

Author: Kaylah

Just a green haired gal from Cleveland, Ohio.

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  • It is a little funny hearing some people talking about how blogs create an unrealistic wonderful picture of life. People complain that bloggers don't express more of their real life issues, and I wonder if that is less about creating a perfect life on paper and more about not wanting "to complain." My co-blogger was writing a post and told me she was having problems writing it because she thought she sounded like was trying to get some pity. I read it and it didn't come off that way. Anyways point is that I think sometimes we are too worried about what people think about us that we forget that maybe people can relate to our stuggles and find it helpful.

  • Everyone gets in funks like that so I can't imagine anyone minding that you blog about it occasionally. It will help you to get it all out, and it will help other people because it reminds them that those feelings are totally normal if they're going through the same thing.

  • I look forward to all of your posts. You're a great blogger, and I think every creative person feels that gloom cloud sometimes. I love your photography and custom printed pouches!

  • I'm really glad you've posted this, it makes me feel better to know that bloggers I look up to have bad weeks as well. Not that I'm happy you're having a hard time, just that finding common ground with people feels really good. Being that my blog is all about mental health, feelings, moods blah blah I know exactly what you mean about the link between creativity and 'down times'. It's comforting to read about you and opening up occasionally, so thank you.

  • I have been feeling the same way lately. It can be so frustrating because I seem to lack the motivation to do things I normally love, and I can't tell you how many blog posts I've written and discarded trying to find words to describe it. Hoping things get better this week! And oh my gosh I HAVE to try the coconut oil thing! That sounds amazing!

    • Man, not having the motivation to do things you love is seriously the worst.

      Coconut oil to shave is seriously magical! I can't believe using it to shave isn't something I'd heard of before.

  • I have been in a total sewing funk for more than a week. I always feel so guilty when I am not productive enough, this time I did some embroidery for fun and watched Korean drama during my free time (as in all my free time for a whole week). I feel so much better and have my sewing mojo back now! I am totally done feeling guilty taking time for myself.

  • Those clouds will clear. They always do ๐Ÿ™‚ I'm glad you decided to post this because I believe sharing would make you feel better <3