wedding talk

Since getting engaged at the beginning of November wedding thoughts have consumed my mind, when I’m awake and even while sleeping. I’ve literally had nightmares about forgetting important stuff like hiring a photographer. I didn’t really expect my brain to be completely overrun with wedding things. To be honest, I never really thought much about a wedding before this.

I’ve definitely wanted to marry Jeff for a while. I specifically remember walking around Target with my mom about a month after starting to date Jeff and exclaiming “I’d marry him today if he asked!” I’ve thought a lot about what marriage means to me, and how important it is to me commit myself to him but I’ve never really thought about what our wedding would look like. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve definitely made comments in passing like “Oh my gosh, what if we got married here?!” But I guess I never pictured the actual wedding. Does that make sense? What I’m saying is that I’m not the type of person who has fantasized about their wedding since they were a kid, and I most certainly do not have a wedding pinterest board. I am not dazzled by the wedding industry. It feels very much like a huge money grab and there are so many other ways I’d rather spend my money.

All of that to say – Holy smokes, I am overwhelmed. Wedding planning is not fun.

Things we have figured out –

The date! June 2018!!! It’s coming up SO fast. We orginally wanted to do it right after tax season (since Jeff works in the tax department) but there were a few hang ups so the date we chose is the soonest possible. There are less than 160 days! Really sweet side note here, essentially right after we got back in the car the evening Jeff proposed he was like “so I was thinking May sometime?” I was so emotional I couldn’t even talk about setting a date yet. I sobbed so hard every time he’d try to talk about a date.

The ceremony site. Part of me just wants to keep this a secret until after the whole shebang and the other part of me wants to scream it from the top of mountains. I’ll give you some hints though – It’s not in Ohio. It’s somewhere we discovered on one of our road trips and fell madly in love with. Perhaps best of all, it’s free… because we’re planning on just showing up, exchanging vows, and leaving shortly after! It’s very much exactly what you’d expect from the two of us. Definitely not a traditional wedding in any sense!

Things that aren’t 100% in place yet but mostly figured out and only stressing me out a bit –

Post ceremony food + party. After the very short ceremony we’ll be heading to one of our other favorite spots we discovered while roadtripping around the west! This is really special because it’s somewhere, just like the ceremony site, that I had mentioned to Jeff would be a really rad spot to have a wedding. Now we get to share this place with all our favorite people. Literally just thinking about everyone being there makes me tear up.

The reception! Since we’re having a destination wedding we’ll also be throwing a reception back at home to celebrate with everyone who couldn’t make it out of state. My parents gratiously offered to convert their annual fourth of July party into our reception which is perfect because that’s already one of my favorite weekends of the year. Food, fun, fireworks, and hammocking! I am SUPER stoked. I would really like to decorate, and of course, pick up a cute casual but kinda fancy dress for that day but honestly planning for all of that is completely overshadowed by planning for the actual wedding.

Honeymoon! We have nothing set in stone yet but we do have a general idea of where we’d like to go. We’re looking to do an all-inclusive trip somewhere tropical. We usually take super hectic trips, which I absolutely love, but I’m very much looking forward to taking a trip where we do nothing but eat, lounge, swim, and relax! If you have any suggestions I’d love to hear them! Bonus points if there are animals!

Things that are still freaking me the heck out –

The dress! I’m torn here… It is very important to me that I don’t waste a ton of money on a dress I will literally only be in for like half a day. It’s also important to me that I look amazing, duh. Right now I’m still thinking I want a long white dress preferably something with lots of volume in the skirt but I could change my mind completely. I’ve been spending lots of time browsing websites that have wedding sections but aren’t necessarily wedding sites, like Modcloth, ASOS, and Lulus. (If you have any other suggestions, I’m all ears!) I have wasted so much time scrolling through dresses! I’m so ready to just find ~the one~ and call it a day! I think my next step is to actually head to some bridal boutiques and at least try on some things to get a better sense of what I like the best on my body.

Our photographer. This was like the first question all our family asked. Who is gonna shoot your wedding?! Jeff is a wedding photographer and I consider myself fairly knowledgeable so we have really high standards. Photos are a huge deal to us, perhaps one of the most important puzzle pieces to this whole thing. We found a couple people to reach out to but we have nothing set in stone yet. There’s so much back and forth, it’s driving me nuts. I’m ready to just sign a contract and pay a deposit.

Hair and make up. This would be scary enough if I were looking for someone local but trying to find someone in another state makes it even worse since I can’t meet them and do a trial run before hand. Luckily I happened to discover WeddingWire! In general I had been avoiding wedding websites since we aren’t going to traditional route and I find that most sites are overwhelming but WeddingWire is really rad because you can search for whatever service you need by area. Clearly a function that is coming in very handy for someone trying to book things in a different state. They have lots of other great planning tools too but I can’t get over how convenient being able to browse vendors has been.

Um… everything? I sat and stared at this list with just three items on it for a while and realized I was having a really hard time figuring out what was stressing me out because I can really only think of those few things. I’m not sure what else is stressing me out. Because of the route we’re going – just kinda showing up, saying I do, and then vacationing with everyone, we have SO much less to plan than other folks. Still, we’re both feeling overwhelmed by the idea of planning. I’m sure even after everything is ‘figured out’ I’ll still be nervous but whatever happens or doesn’t happen is cool because I’ll still be marrying Jeff and hanging out with all my favorite people.

Look at those colors! Gah!

We were both a little nervous about having a destination wedding because we didn’t want to put any one in an awkward position financially but our familes have been so supportive. I’m so excited to have all our closest friends and family members together at two of our favorite places in the world. I’m obviously super stoked about the wedding but also just about what an awesome vacation it will be for everyone. Not many people take family vacations as adults, and here we are doing it with both of our families.

I’ll be SO much happier as soon as we get a few more details ironed out but y’all I cannot wait to marry my best friend. We’re planning a really unique wedding, one that could not be more ~us~ and I am beyond excited!
xoxo

This post is sponsored by WeddingWire, an incredible online resource for couples planning their wedding. All opinions are my own, obviously. I mean who else would plan a wacky wedding like this one… Heh! Thanks for supporting the companies that help make The Dainty Squid possible. Also, if you are engaged, it should be noted that WeddingWire is giving away $10k to put your dream wedding. Share your #JustSaidYes engagement moment to enter. For more details, read here.

Author: Kaylah

Just a green haired gal from Cleveland, Ohio.

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  • Anthropologie have a wedding line called BHLDN which carries a range of dresses, from full glam to more casual/affordable (but still beautiful!) pieces. They even have a selection of bridesmaids and party dresses! Everything has got vintage vibe to it, especially the accessories. Check it out – https://www.bhldn.com

    And congrats! Can’t wait to see how it all comes together!

    • Oh, I am well aware of BHLDN. I’ve been drooling over their stuff since the second I started looking for a dress! I wish they had a retail store a bit closer to me, I’d love to try some things on.

  • Congratulations To You Sweetie I Wish You & Jeff All The Happiness In The World, Weddings Can be Stressful But Try To Relax and With The Love You Share It Will Be As Beautiful As You Are, The Ring is Beautiful & So Unique A Fire Opal Wow Lovely. Best Wishes To You Both, Cant Wait To See the Pictures 😀
    xo Ruby

  • First- congrats! Definitely look into Costa Rica (SO many animals, pretty affordable, and tropical!) or Hawaii! I’ve never been but they’re beautiful.

    This post is so insanely relatable I feel I could have written it myself?? lol. We just got engaged last year and are looking to do a very similar type of wedding. Destination in PNW, super small + a party with friends and family and hopefully honeymoon in Japan. <3 I'm excited to follow your updates!

  • My friend Victoria owns Victoria Stanbridge Photography in Lakewood – I’m not sure if her portfolio is up your alley, but I can vouch for her being a rad human who likes to do non-traditional stuff! Happy planning! <3

  • Thanks for sharing this post! I’ve been engaged for a while now (since last Feb) and have been feeling the same way, I’m so excited to get married but the details and the options overwhelm me, so much pressure for the one day to be perfect! Agh I’m sure everything will turn out fine, its just getting there/planning is the tough part >_<

  • So excited to hear details of your wedding, Kayla! Lovely way to start the new year. I married my husband 3 years ago in a similarly minimal ceremony, wearing a vintage 50s knee length dress. I like in the UK, so not sure if this will be any use to you, but there’s a British website called Monsoon, they do interesting, pretty, reasonably priced wedding dresses you might like. Worth a browse if nothing else! Good luck with your wedding planning!!
    http://uk.monsoon.co.uk/uk/wedding/bridal/dresses

  • I felt the same way before I got married–completely overwhelmed. I’m a professional who feels like she has her act together generally–but wedding stuff is it’s own thing that made me feel like I had no idea what I was doing. My mom gave me the best advice when I was feeling like “should I be doing x?” She told me, if you don’t want to do x, don’t do it. We didn’t do programs (no one noticed), or a guest book (no one noticed), or escort cards (you guessed it, no one noticed). We spent money on the aspects we cared about–not what other people thought we SHOULD do. And it was the most perfect day ever. Your wedding will be too. Congrats and enjoy the happy! You’re going to love being married.

  • Congrats!!!

    For the honeymoon destination and because you love animals: Costa Rica! It hosts five per cent of the world’s biodiversity, there are many eco-friendly hostels and tour operators attempt to be as low-impact as possible! Oh and there are beautiful beaches, amazing surfing spots, spectacular rainforests and volcanoes (if you like hiking) and the best reason to go to Costa Rica: they have sloths! <3

    Claire, Switzerland

  • Would you consider designing something yourself and then having it made for you? I keep thinking about the crazy/perfect wedding dress from Parks and Recreation. Yeah fiction, I know, but still . . .

  • I just got married in October and I had a 2 year engagement and was still stressed about it all and you will be a little up until you see your fiance.. Just remember who it’s about, you two!
    For the dress, I would definitely recommend going to a boutique just for you to see what you will like. I went in with one idea and walked out with something completely differently that I feel in love with. A less expensive alternative would be to try bridesmaids dresses in white or blush or whatever you’re feeling! My friend went to BHLDN and walked out with a bridesmaids dress with a lace illusion top that was a separate.

    Check out WeddingBee https://www.weddingbee.com/. Literally saved me…it was amazing to hear from other brides planning and calmed my nerves. Also check out Offbeat Bride for non-traditional weddings! http://offbeatbride.com/

    Good luck, breath deep, don’t stress to much and DELEGATE! We didn’t have a bridal party so it was all up to my husband and I, but we still had some family and friends who we ended up relying on for some of our bigger issues, especially day-of.

    Congrats and enjoy this process as much as you can!