wedding thoughts…

(always like a month late sharing these photos. TWO-ish months left now!)

There are less than 70 days until I marry my best friend. HOLY COW. Less than 70 days!!! It’s coming up so fast but honestly, not fast enough. Wanna know the truth? I’m just so excited to just get this all over with.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m trying hard to savor every second and, of course, I’m absolutely look forward to the big day. I’m not wishing that away. I can’t wait to hang out with all our closest friends and family in the desert. I love the excitement of being engaged. The newness of everything is wonderful BUT I can’t wait to not have to think about wedding stuff! I just want to fast forward a bit.

I’ve mentioned it before, I’m not the kind of person who dreamed of their wedding day, who had pinterest boards full of inspiration, who devoted any time or energy into planning before the engagement. I am simply not interested in the wedding industry…at all. I thought maybe once I was engaged I’d gain an interest but if anything, wedding websites and magazines became even less appealing.

To be honest, right after getting engaged, I didn’t want to share anything about my wedding here on the blog. I mean obviously, I’d share photos after everything was said and done but keeping details private felt right. It’s not a huge event meant for strangers. I’m not getting married for the blog. It’s a very intimate thing. I don’t want our decisions critiqued or judged ever, but especially not now regarding the wedding.

After a bit of thought, I decided that I wanted to share more about our upcoming wedding because I wanted to acknowledge that small weddings are great. I wanted to share some of my thoughts on this whole thing, things that if written by someone else would certainly help me. That you don’t have to spend 30k or even 10k to have the best day ever. I thought back to Marine and Shawn’s elopement a few years ago and how much that inspired me to do my own thing. I’m sure there are lots of small weddings like this but I have no interest in digging for them on internet, especially not when I have to wade through tons and tons of huge events to find them.

I’m not sure what to call our wedding. It’s not an elopement because it’s not a secret and we’re inviting friends and family. But ‘wedding’ feels like a stretch. We’re literally showing up to a location important to us (one that is most certainly not a wedding venue), exchanging vows, and then heading to a different location to eat, swim, and celebrate. There will be no decorations, no aisle, and *gasp* no chairs. It’s kind of like a wedding flash mob in a way, I guess.

Despite all the excitement, this waiting period between now and then is… awful. I keep having little moments of panic where I think ‘will I regret not wearing a white dress?’, ‘should I be more concerned with decorating?’, ‘what if I change my mind?’, ‘should I be taking this more seriously?’ I know that what we have planned is wonderful and so absolutely perfect for us but being constantly exposed to over the top wedding celebrations on every platform definitely wears me down and makes me start to second guess everything.

Some people care a ton about weddings, and have no problem dropping loads of cash on them – and that’s great. Myself, on the other hand, I just want to celebrate our love with family, show off our favorite places out west, and get some really cool pictures of the two of us looking foxy as heck. Spending money on unnessary things isn’t something either of us are interested in but somehow spending all this time on the internet almost makes me feel guilty for it, ya know?

Our wedding will be weird. It’ll be small. It’ll be unique. It’s going to be perfect no matter what because it’ll be Jeff and I, and that’s all that matters. I just wish it was here already so I could stop stressing about all the silly little details, ya know? I’m so ready to stop obsessively scrolling through dresses in a panicked state thinking there might be something better out there than what I already have.

actual photo of me waiting to get on a plane to Arizona

Is it June yet?
xoxo

PS. If you had a very small wedding or eloped – I’d love to hear about it or see photos!

Author: Kaylah

Just a green haired gal from Cleveland, Ohio.

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  • Wedding flash mob! YES! That’s the perfect description! We did just that. We showed up with a handful of friends to our apartment courtyard (which fortunately was beautiful and peaceful), did the deed, and moved on to a favorite restaurant and later the bar where we met for the celebrating. IT WAS PERFECT. The only thing I will regret for the rest of my life is not having my family there. It was a quick wedding though – very little time for planning – and I have seven siblings plus parents and in laws and niece and nephews. So the plane tickets would have added up quick, and it just didn’t feel right at the time to push for it – but now I wish I had. I say as long as it feels like YOU and your closest loved ones are there, it’ll be exactly what you want and you’ll love the memories! Small weddings are the BEST.

  • I am in the midst of planning a summer elopement as well, and so far it is going to be super basic but super US! All that matters to me is him, I, and somewhere beautiful in nature. We have a vague idea of a trip out to the mountains on our anniversary that happens to fall on a full moon….and that is it. I have been trying to find the perfect moon themed dress but have yet to come across THE one yet and am trying not to stress. I wasn’t planning on telling anyone until after the fact, but he is leaning towards wanting to be traditional in a sense and asking my parents for my hand in marriage. I was just a bridesmaid in a wedding and it totalllllly solidified that I do NOT want a big ordeal. There was soo much stress, drama, and money involved. meh. It is about us and our love, I truly don’t need anyone else there.

  • Very small wedding here: 6 guests!! Including our 6 month old daughter who was the ring bearer.
    My dress was beautiful, but not white. The “reception” was held at our house, an Indonesian caterer provided yummy food.

    Almost ten years on I’ve got no regrets at all, neither does my husband. Good luck with your wedding and try not to fret about regrets you might have later on. I seriously doubt that you will be regretting anything!

  • My husband and I got married in his mom’s backyard. I wore a $10 black and white sundress from a thift store; he bought a $150 suit that he also wore to his dad’s wedding a few months later. I think all told we spent $1000, including the rings (titanium!) and the officiant. Small weddings are the way to go, imho – they’re intimate, incredibly personal (it’s not another “show up at a church, listen to a dude drone on for 45 minutes, find some way to pass 2 hours while dressed up, then drive to a different location and spend the next 3 hours making awkward small talk with people you haven’t seen in 6 years” like seemingly everyone else has), and it doesn’t break the bank.

  • I’m from Arizona. There are so many wonderful, unique places here. It’s a state unlike any other. I’ve been all over the world and it is one of the most unique places I’ve ever been. Can’t wait to see which location you chose.

    We had a small DIY wedding, but still pretty traditional (in the sense that we had aisles and chairs!). I didn’t wear a white dress. My husband wore steeplejacks. We had a food truck cater. It was everything we wanted. 6 years later we still have people reminding us that our wedding was one of the most fun they’d ever been to. We spent less than $10k and focused on what was important to us. For me, I wanted some of those traditional elements. But I did have a moment where I freaked out and was like, “WHY ARE WE DOING THIS. LET’S JUST ELOPE”. Even for small weddings, planning can be very stressful!

    I didn’t care much for hair and makeup and thought it was a frivolous expense, but looking back now I wish I’d splurged and gotten them professionally done. That’s my only regret. Something that doesn’t seem important at the time suddenly states its value when you have to look at the pictures forever!

  • I’m super late to the party but this post really struck me. I had what would definitely be considered a small wedding, with maybe 20 guests. It was at a wedding venue and there were tuxedos and a white dress and lots of cute decorations, but it was also unique and very US. That’s one thing so many of our guests told us afterward: that they’d never been to another wedding that so completely fit the couple and their personalities. To me, that was the highest compliment. So the fact that your wedding will be intimate and weird sounds perfect. I felt the same “will I regret this” things you’re feeling as I planned mine and even for a little while afterward, but 5 years later (this month!) I wouldn’t change a thing. It was perfect. I can’t wait to hear about your special day!

  • You should check out offbeatbride.com if you haven’t already. It’s filled with stories of “weird” non-traditional weddings!

    My husband and I had a small wedding and we really had a great time. It was so much fun and not nearly as stressful as it could have been.

  • We did a secret wedding in our own town. We knew the pastor personally since he had been a teacher at the school we met. It was small and beautiful. We didn’t want the pressure of having to invite certain people or do things in a certain way. We had a friend take some photos in a nearby location and took a getaway with great food and wine -also close to home.