Grief for me has been cycling through the polar opposites of ‘save everything!’ and ‘throw it all away!’ Sorting through her storage room in my dad’s garage a few weekends back with my sister-in-law, I found myself when asked what to do with something, more often than not, answering “Goodwill pile!”
Guess it was just the mood I was in because I’ve kept so many random things that had she’d of offered me I’d have said ‘no’ to. Recipes she printed and wrote her own notes on, her flannel shirts, her pajama pants (most of which I recognized from our shopping trips together), her fuzzy socks and so much more stuff I 100% do not need. Buuut my grieving brain insists it’s all special.
One Sunday, while the guys worked on the bus, I walked down to the house and did a little housework for my dad. I noticed three dead looking plants on the staircase landing. I figured I should ask before tossing them despite already knowing that my dad wouldn’t be interested in caring for houseplants. After confirming he didn’t want them, I climbed back onto the landing and got a closer look. They were definitely hurting after not being watered for 2 and a half months but two of the three were possibly salvageable…
I tossed the completely dried out one. The largest I pruned the dead leaves off and decided that it was worth trying to save. The third had completely wilted leaves but didn’t seem beyond repair. I chopped off the leaves to try and propagate and gave the root base to my niece to grow.
Five days after being placed in water, I already had the start of roots and much healthier leaves!
As much as I love growing things in water and watching the roots grow and change, I really wanted to get these leaves in soil ASAP. I planted and replanted these darn things at least four different times before finally deciding on how I wanted them arranged. I thought one super full pot would be neat but I didn’t have the right sized pot and I figured two would give me a better shot at least one surviving. (…Not that I really have any doubts but ya know!) So two pots it was. One larger for all the big cuttings, and a smaller one for the more petite cuttings – who interestingly enough had much larger roots.
My mom was never really a house plant type of person but anyone who had ever been over to the house would tell you how much she loved to garden. She kept such beautiful flower beds. My love of plants definitely stemmed (heh!) from her. When I moved to the city and no longer had an outdoor space, I started bringing the outside in. It was then I convinced her to try growing things inside as well.
All of that to say, it feels a little weird to be putting so much importance on these plants that I’m not sure she ever loved, at least not as much as the ones she grew outside. It’s a perfectly
I look forward to continuing to watch these plants grow and hope that they continue to bring me at least a little bit of peace. My mom may be dead but she lives on in so many other ways.