what I wore : blue tennis shoes

kaylah doolan, modcloth, fish dress, tattoos, green hair
lapel pin, hoyfc
outfit post, kaylah doolan, cleveland blog, fashion blogger, green hair
cleveland fashion blog, what I wore, ootd


sunglasses – Moorea Seal
dress – Modcloth

Can I tell you guys a secret? One time I cried because the thought that Jim Carrey probably wouldn’t be attracted to me popped into my head. I guess I should have started with these two facts first; 1) Jim Carrey is my one and only celebrity crush. I’m not like crazy obsessed or anything. I realize he’s just a normal human being (plus he has a daughter older than me!) but he’s SO funny, and SO handsome! 2) I’m a crier. I cry when I’m happy, when I’m sad, when I’m mad, and definitely at the sight of cute animals. So me crying over that isn’t exactly a huge deal.

I don’t think I’ve ever thought that I was “ugly”. I’ve kind of always just been “well, that’s me” about my looks but I’m definitely guilty of wishing I looked like other people at times. I have a good
side that I prefer to be photographed from (which you’d have to be pretty oblivious to not have picked up on by now! Hah!) and I’ve always been little self conscious of my round face. One eye is a little bit
squintier than the other and when I got braces a few years ago my orthodontist pointed out what a large chin I apparently have. …Seriously, what a butt! That aside, even if I had been born with the “perfect” face, I’ve chosen to do things to my body, such as covering a large portion of it in tattoos and always having an unnatural color of hair, that aren’t always seen as beautiful by people. It’s what I think is pretty, and how I like to look though. If I had a quarter for every time someone commented I’d be prettier with natural hair or without tattoos I’d be able to finish tattooing the rest of my body, AND keep my hair permanently fresh! There are definitely times when I think how much easier things would be if only I had “normal” tastes. I feel like that’s something that anyone with tattoos, funky hair, or a penchant for unique clothing can related to at least a little bit.

The last few months I’ve been feeling this almost childlike understanding that everyone looks different, and that THAT is what makes people beautiful. Also that another person’s beauty doesn’t take away from mine. We can be completely opposite in looks and still both be attractive and you know what… IT RULES! I’m going to have to give credit to the internet for this. I’ve never felt that advertising had a huge impact on my views of beauty but I think that might actually be impossible. Even if you don’t realize it, you’re affected by advertising. But seeing so many selfies everywhere I look – instagram, blogs, facebook, etc – is pushing that advertising to the side! Yeah, the ads are still everywhere but so are so many other faces, and styles that prove that beauty isn’t just this one image.

I obviously don’t think taking selfies is the most important thing in the world or that it’s all we should do with our time but I can’t deny the impact they’ve had in my life. Sharing selfies shows that beauty comes in all shapes and sizes. That there isn’t just one beautiful image that everyone needs to replicate. I look at others and I see they have the same “flaws” I have but guess what? They’re still beautiful!

I’ve been wanting to write this post for a while now, just to talk about how much I love seeing everyone’s faces, and personalities on social media. I actually had some of it in a draft along with some random selfies but a post with this fish dress seemed even more appropriate. It’s weird, no question there. More people probably go “what the…” than people who think “wow, that’s cute!” yet I’m still crazy into it! The post ended up a little more all over the place than I had planned but it would take forever to write about all my feelings on beauty, even this post I’ve come back to a few times to add in thoughts. I’m sure as soon as it goes live I’ll think of something else I want to add on the subject.

So, maybe Jim Carrey wouldn’t be into a girl with green hair, lots of tattoos, and who thinks a dress covered in fish is funny but I think I’m pretty rad and I hope that by being true to my very strange self I’m encouraging others to do so as well.


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  • Im a cryer too, and this post nearly brought me to tears. I will definitely be coming back to read this post again and again. I love that fish dress, and I bet Jim Carrey would find your colorful style and adventurous spirit totally adorable ๐Ÿ˜Š

  • Girl. I loved this post. I'm 36 years old and I have 5 tattoos and I'm a worship leader at our church. I can't tell you how many times I've gotten the same comments or "well meaning" backhanded compliments — "You'd be so pretty if…"

    You are beautiful, and I can't imagine you with any other colored hair than bright and your tattoos are a natural extension of you and make you that much more interesting.

    You keep doing you, chick. You're rocking it!

    • "You'd be so pretty if…" is probably the worst thing to hear ever. I don't understand how people don't realize how rude that is.

      Thank you! That's how I feel about them too. I obviously wasn't born with them but they're a very real part of me now.


  • I'm a fellow Jim Carrey fan as well! I remember thinking he was good looking when I was a kid and wondering if I was odd because of it.. haha! It's funny, at the end of your post when you said "very strange self" I immediately thought..strange? Really? When I look at you that is never what I think! I always am thinking things like, SO cute! Fun dress! Fun hair! Great tattoos! PERSONALITY! ๐Ÿ™‚ The world is FULL of people who lack personality. So the way I see it, by being yourself, you're just making the world a prettier place to look at! Screw random unhappy pedestrians who feel the *WAY OUT OF LINE* need to tell you how much prettier you'd be if you changed something about yourself. They're obviously broken and in need of some quiet time alone in a corner. Because, in my opinion, there is nothing prettier than a person who knows who they are and can go out into a crowd with confidence and be an inspiration to others! ๐Ÿ™‚

    • Oh, exactly! That's how I feel too! I am ALL for people doing what makes them happy even if it doesn't float my boat. You gotta do you!

      Also, can't end this without asking – what's your favorite Jim Carrey movie?

    • Oh man, what's not to love? I grew up with Ace Ventura, Dumb and Dumber, Liar Liar, The Mask! I was super surprised when I watched The Number 23. I didn't think he would be great at that type of movie, but I enjoyed that one as well! I think Dumb and Dumber will always be high up on my list, but I also really loved The Truman Show! I always feel for him and am so happy when he gets out in the end! ๐Ÿ™‚ Even as The Grinch, he's great!! "Dinner with myself, I can't cancel that again!" Haha!

  • You wrote my feelings! XD I got white hair mohawk (feeling like x-men's Storm here) and loving it! but yeah, sometimes I wish to be more normal (or classic beauty if I could pick), no one can help it, lately I've been thinking a lot about that, like I should grow up, I'm 31, married, working person, also from a small city in Mexico so people here is more conservative and sometimes it gets you, but after those confusing moments I remember that I love my look and it is what's more me, what could I prefer better than being me?
    Also I love your fashion style and thatโ€™s one of the things that keeps bringing me back to your blog, you rock that style!
    So letโ€™s appreciate everyoneโ€™s beauty and be ourselves until we are too old to remember we have to retouch our hair! ๐Ÿ˜€

    • Yep! The "grow up" thing, I get that. I think that's some sort of garbage people are brainwashed into thinking though so anytime it sneaks into my mind that maybe people would take me more seriously if I didn't dress like a kindergartner, or have green hair, or whatever I just push it out. Brown hair, and plain clothes would do nothing for me except make me uncomfortable. They wouldn't make me anymore of an adult.


  • I think you're cute as a button! ๐Ÿ™‚
    But I know what you're saying. It took me 40 years to be comfortable with my own style and looks. I'm glad you figured it out young.
    Keep being you. You're perfect. โค๏ธ

  • hello i came all the way over here from feedly to say, every time i see a picture of you i think how beautiful you are! thank you for being reassuring that even the beautiful have these feels, we're all in this together <3

    • Aw, thank you so much. That is very sweet. I feel weird being placed with the beautiful people, I feel very average, but I know what you're saying. No matter what, we all have the same struggles. I really really don't think there are many people at all, if any, who don't struggle at some point with similar feelings.

  • OK I love that you wrote this. As much as it terrifies me to think what "weird kids" go through these days, at least it's easier for them to find a tribe even if it's only online, and I hope they are have the ability to do so. I grew up fat, not having anything to wear that was cute, and went through all kinds of stages…goth being the longest lasting, and had only one or 2 friends. I still do my own thing, dye my hair pink, and sell cards with swears. Knowing there are HUGE amounts of people who are bigger but dress awesome and dye their hair crazy colors is so cool and makes us "normal" with those we WANT to be normal. Anyway now I'M rambling. Thanks for this post!

    • Yep yep! I hear ya! The internet really does make it so much easier to feel normal or at least find people to be weird with. I love seeing all the people out there doing their own damn thang!

  • I know how you feel. Not about Jim Carey (though the thought of keanu reeves not being in love with me fills me with an overwhelming sadness) but that moment when you realise how different IS beautiful is great! Also, to me you are stunning so shhhhhh. -Sam

  • It is extremely difficult to get other negative thoughts about yourself from your head, especially with what others say and the views of the general public who feel it's their need to tell you that colored hair is gross… I feel you there! This is post was. Reminder that fuck it! I am who I am and I love that about me! So thanks girl. Live it up!

  • You are lovely. I also like seeing a diversity of beauty that strays from conventional standards and have shared a similar path to acceptance with my own "moon" face. Round faces rule!

  • Well if Jim Carrey is anything like his character in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind… then I don't think you have anything to worry about ๐Ÿ˜‰ It's funny, because my celebrity crush is Brandon Boyd (lead singer of Incubus) and I have had that thought before too… mostly because his girlfriend is a leggy model with long blonde hair (So, not me.) ๐Ÿ˜‰ but I like to think we would be friends if we had the chance!

    And I've been thinking about beauty and the self lately too… I've been seeing a lot of bikini pictures of people I physically admire and it made me realize that they have the same "stuff" going on underneath their clothes that I do! Like, one of my favorite yoga teachers has cellulite, thighs, and a tummy! But I never would have known just from looking at her in yoga clothes. It has definitely made me feel better about the things I maybe wasn't feeling so great on before. Social media can be good in that way… sure, sometimes it makes us feel like people have all the things we want and don't have, but sometimes it reminds us that we're not actually all that different from the people we admire ๐Ÿ™‚ Or, like you said, that our differences are what make us, well… us!

    • Hahah! I kind of thought about throwing an Eternal Sunshine reference in the post at the end for giggle so funny you should mention it!

      Yep! I've typed and deleted like ten times trying to come up with a good response but yeah, what you said is perfect, and so relateable. ๐Ÿ™‚

  • That orthodontist reminds me of a time in middle school when a coach stated my twin and I needed to try out for the basketball team because we had good wide shoulders like a football player. Ha! Made me always feel that I needed to shrink and be small. But later I read this quote somewhere that said if you're tall, wear heels. Which basically means to me don't give a f*** what others think, do your thing girl.

  • You are the actual best. My brain is way too tired to write everything I love about this post.
    You just keep getting more and more awesome. I didn't think that was possible but you keep on doing it.
    Love you and miss you like crazy!!!

  • I am so happy to read this. I'm also from Ohio but I was raised in Georgia, just outside of Atlanta…just outside of it in the sense that the contrast was so obvious. I have tattoos as well and currently red and orange hair. I've taken most of my piercings out but only for myself. I've heard SO MANY comments that are nothing less than straight up bullying. Yes, adults can be the biggest bullies because some of them seem to feel entitled to share unsolicited advice and comments. I've been told that I'd be pretty IF I didn't have tattoos…etc. I've been told that it's trashy. I've even been treated like a criminal. I think you're on to something. We need advocates to stand up for these issues. Thank you โค Keep being you, you're perfect!

  • I'm having trouble with my image lately, as I'm unemployed and very aware that having bright blue hair is impacting on my finding a job. It's very difficult to make the decision to either conform, be a little less happy but with an income, or keep trying to find a workplace that will accept me regardless but risk unemployment.
    Thank you for posting this! I'm no closer to a decision, but your words habe soothed my soul somewhat.

  • Thank you so much for this post. I agree with what you've written about how the internet can be helpful when it comes to counteracting advertising and media's beauty ideals. I am someone who struggles a lot with feeling good about how I look. Recently I joined instagram and have been following many body positive accounts. Seeing the beauty in all of these diverse people has helped me to see myself in a kinder way.
    Oh yeah, I also think Jim Carrey is very handsome! When I was a teen he was in People magazines 50 most beautiful list, with a dreamy portrait of him, and I got a crush! He also genuinely seems like a kind and intelligent person.

    • So happy to hear all the body posi account are helping you! The internet can be a real dark place at time so I am always happy to hear about the good things1 <3

  • I think your look is awesome and definately "as cute as a button"! You've been one of the influences in my own discovery in finding my style! Everyone comments on my hair" if only I had the courage…. ". Yesterday I spent 5haors having it bleached white… My boys are embarrassed I now look like lady gaga… But hey there are worse things! Your look is so refreshing and always puts a smile on my face… Thank you!

  • Your uniqueness and beauty are what keep me coming back to your blog again and again. And your chin is NOT too large. Don't stop being who you are, Kaylah. The world is more colorful and lovely with you in it. xo

  • The "you'de so pretty if" or "what happens when You want to get married" comments always really get me. It's super insulting and I'll never understand how people let those things come out of their mouths!
    Also: you are just the cutest. Seriously pretty & a funny. Not to mention into some pretty cool stuff. I don't know about Jim being into you, but if I lived near Cleveland I'd be trying to make you my new bff. ;p

  • Love everything about your post, Kaylah! I also came to the same realization recently that someone else's attractiveness doesn't take away from mine. Our thought patterns are such a powerful influence on how we perceive the world. Affirmations have also helped me with seeing myself in a less negative way. Great post! ๐Ÿ™‚

  • this blows my mind. for some reason i feel that you are super confident in yourself and never would have imagined that you would feel jim carrey wouldn't be attracted to your phenomenal self.
    we are very (VERY!) different people in most ways, and yet i find you beautiful and cute. loving that you appreciate the beauty of others and now know comparison is unnecessary. you be you. you rock the shit out of you!