Sharing outfit photos can be scary. There are a lot of people who think that because something is published or otherwise put out into the world that it’s up for debate or open to criticism. People tend to forget that behind every single thing there is a real person who is potentially reading these things, and being affected. It doesn’t even have to be a huge deal, a simple off handed comment can shift how someone thinks for the worst.
A year or so ago I shared a photo of Jeff and I. It was an adorable photo with a caption about our half anniversary but someone left a comment asking if I was expecting*. That caused me to look super closely at my body in that photo… and in every single photo I shared ever after that. My stomach is not flat. It never will be. I’m not pregnant…and I never plan to be. It shouldn’t be necessary for me to have to examine my body closely and meticulously before sharing photos for fear that someone will ask if last night’s sushi is a baby or comment that my knees are ugly. (Yes, that really happened. And yeah, that made me self conscious for a while until I realized that you have to be a real dingus to make fun of someone’s knees. I mean, THEY’RE KNEES. For the record, my knees look just like everyone’s knees)
Comments like these are why everything gets photoshopped. Why Madonna is photoshopped to look twenty years younger, why apps like facetune even exist, why bloggers edit out their pimples, and on, and on, and on. You can’t comment on these stupid things and also be outraged at the fact people photoshop themselves into oblivion. It just doesn’t work that way.
I’m mentioning all this because immediately after thinking “Oh, these turned out cute” my next thought was “Shoot, someone is going to ask if I’m pregnant. I just know it.” And then “darn it, you can really see the dye on my scalp.” I started trying to fix the dye along my hairline so my head didn’t look so blue but realized I definitely have better things to do. I have no reason to be ashamed that there is dye on my scalp. It happens. Every time I dye my hair, my scalp is the same color as my hair for a few days. I also have no reason to try and hide the fact my stomach isn’t completely flat. I love food. I eat well. So what?
I always feel a little nervous to share this sort of commentary. I don’t want to stir the pot or draw negative attention to myself but I definitely want to use my platform to remind people to be better to others. Nobodies life is all peaches and cream. Everyone struggles. Why add to that with silly little nitpicks? Do your best to raise other people up. Comment on the good things, instead of the “bad”! I’m going to leave you with one of my favorite little sayings…
“You shouldn’t point out things about people’s appearances if they can’t fix it in ten seconds.”
for your viewing pleasure, dye on my scalp.
shirt – TJ Maxx
sweater – Moorea Seal
glasses – Louise via Warby Parker
pins – Jim Carrey via Two Ghouls Press, Pizza c/o Moorea Seal, Tooth via Hooptedoodle
jeans – TJ Maxx (similar pair)
boots – Palladium Boots c/o Urban Outfitters
*For the love of dog, STOP ASKING PEOPLE IF THEY ARE PREGNANT. If they want you to know, they’ll tell you. Otherwise, it’s none of yer bee’s wax. Even if you think you’re being friendly, it’s just intrusive. Women aren’t simply baby machines. I could rant about this subject for years but we should probably save that for another day.