(always like a month late sharing these photos. TWO-ish months left now!)
There are less than 70 days until I marry my best friend. HOLY COW. Less than 70 days!!! It’s coming up so fast but honestly, not fast enough. Wanna know the truth? I’m just so excited to just get this all over with.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m trying hard to savor every second and, of course, I’m absolutely look forward to the big day. I’m not wishing that away. I can’t wait to hang out with all our closest friends and family in the desert. I love the excitement of being engaged. The newness of everything is wonderful BUT I can’t wait to not have to think about wedding stuff! I just want to fast forward a bit.
I’ve mentioned it before, I’m not the kind of person who dreamed of their wedding day, who had pinterest boards full of inspiration, who devoted any time or energy into planning before the engagement. I am simply not interested in the wedding industry…at all. I thought maybe once I was engaged I’d gain an interest but if anything, wedding websites and magazines became even less appealing.
To be honest, right after getting engaged, I didn’t want to share anything about my wedding here on the blog. I mean obviously, I’d share photos after everything was said and done but keeping details private felt right. It’s not a huge event meant for strangers. I’m not getting married for the blog. It’s a very intimate thing. I don’t want our decisions critiqued or judged ever, but especially not now regarding the wedding.
After a bit of thought, I decided that I wanted to share more about our upcoming wedding because I wanted to acknowledge that small weddings are great. I wanted to share some of my thoughts on this whole thing, things that if written by someone else would certainly help me. That you don’t have to spend 30k or even 10k to have the best day ever. I thought back to Marine and Shawn’s elopement a few years ago and how much that inspired me to do my own thing. I’m sure there are lots of small weddings like this but I have no interest in digging for them on internet, especially not when I have to wade through tons and tons of huge events to find them.
I’m not sure what to call our wedding. It’s not an elopement because it’s not a secret and we’re inviting friends and family. But ‘wedding’ feels like a stretch. We’re literally showing up to a location important to us (one that is most certainly not a wedding venue), exchanging vows, and then heading to a different location to eat, swim, and celebrate. There will be no decorations, no aisle, and *gasp* no chairs. It’s kind of like a wedding flash mob in a way, I guess.
Despite all the excitement, this waiting period between now and then is… awful. I keep having little moments of panic where I think ‘will I regret not wearing a white dress?’, ‘should I be more concerned with decorating?’, ‘what if I change my mind?’, ‘should I be taking this more seriously?’ I know that what we have planned is wonderful and so absolutely perfect for us but being constantly exposed to over the top wedding celebrations on every platform definitely wears me down and makes me start to second guess everything.
Some people care a ton about weddings, and have no problem dropping loads of cash on them – and that’s great. Myself, on the other hand, I just want to celebrate our love with family, show off our favorite places out west, and get some really cool pictures of the two of us looking foxy as heck. Spending money on unnessary things isn’t something either of us are interested in but somehow spending all this time on the internet almost makes me feel guilty for it, ya know?
Our wedding will be weird. It’ll be small. It’ll be unique. It’s going to be perfect no matter what because it’ll be Jeff and I, and that’s all that matters. I just wish it was here already so I could stop stressing about all the silly little details, ya know? I’m so ready to stop obsessively scrolling through dresses in a panicked state thinking there might be something better out there than what I already have.
actual photo of me waiting to get on a plane to Arizona
Is it June yet?