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some of my favorite posts

six things I started using in 2016 that rule!

by Kaylah Stroup

Can you believe it’s time to start writing end of the year round up posts? Me either! I have no idea where the year went but I do know that I started using some really awesome things over the last twelve months. I’ve never really done a round up post quite like this one but there was a handful of items that I really wanted to blog about because they made such an impact on my life. So, in alphabetical order, the six best things I started using in 2016 are…

Aveda Hand Relief Moisturizing Creme. THE best lotion, ever. Not only does it leave my hands so soft and moisturized, it also smells heavenly. Shortly after getting this I got my hands on another Aveda lotion, their candrimā™ body lotion, which is equally as amazing. So maybe it’s just Aveda? Either way, I have literally never used a better lotion! My skin gets incredibly dry in the winter (because I really reeeally love hot showers) so this lotion has been a godsend!

Digit. I already shared my love of Digit here. Nothing has changed since then except for the fact I’ve saved even more money! I really don’t think there is any one who wouldn’t benefit from using Digit!

Diva Cup. I’m sorry if you’re flinching already. This has been something I’ve wanted to write about since I first bought it earlier in the year. I know a lot of people are really grossed out talking about periods but I’m not and I honestly consider my diva cup LIFE CHANGING. Seriously. I used to constantly stress about leaking so my period was a nightmare. SO much anxiety. But with my diva cup, I know I have nothing to worry about! I honestly don’t know why it took me so long to get one but I will never ever ever go back to tampons. Paired with a period tracker, I use Flo, you will never stain your favorite undies again! I love it so much that I could probably ramble on and on about my diva cup forever. I absolutely encourage you to look into getting one.

obsessed with my rose gold Fitbit band. sooo pretty! 

Fitbit Alta. I actually had this post almost finished before I realized I forgot to write about one of my Fitbit. Ahh! Whoops. While, I admit, I’ve fallen a little bit and don’t hit 10,000 steps every single day like I did when I first bought it its still a huge motivation to move more. Since getting my Fitbit I, without a doubt, get so much more exercise.

NuMe Curling Wand. I can’t believe how beautiful my hair looks when I use my curling wand. It helps me achieve my dream hair. For the longest time I was a fan of using foam curlers but after getting my curling wand the curls I get from the foam curlers just don’t cut it anymore. You can read my post on my curling wand here.

Wet n Wild H2O Proof Liquid Eyeliner. Back in October I made a list of my favorite beauty products. In that post I mentioned how I loved Stila eyeliner but always went looking for a cheaper alternative when I ran out. I FINALLY found an eyeliner I like more. For $3.99 you’d be crazy not to at least try what I now consider the ultimate eyeliner. It’s so easy to get nice, crisp lines and this stuff stays on so well! It comes out solid solid soliiiid black in one swipe. I can do a perfect cat eye in no time flat with this eyeliner. There is no need for me to ever purchase a different product now that I’ve found this one.

Also, it’s not really along the same lines as the things listed in this post but Professor in a bow tie is a pretty darn fabulous thing that happened this year. Pets by Carvas rules. I really didn’t think it was possible for me to think that cat was any cuter but somehow he is. It makes me smile every single time I see it. Every kitty needs a bow tie.

Did you find any products this year that are off the hook? I wanna hear all about them.
xoxo

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Thankful

by Kaylah Stroup

Last month I shared a post titled just me, in my element. It was something inspired by a single photo that I typed up in one sitting (with a second final glance right before hitting publish to make sure there weren’t any major spelling errors, or super crazy thoughts.) The response BLEW. MY. MIND. I honestly don’t know when, if ever, something I’ve written has had such an incredible response. It took me forever to read through all the comments and emails. Replying was even more difficult. So many of you guys shared your stories with me, I was at a loss for words. Shoot, I still am! I genuinely apologize if I somehow forgot anyone, it definitely wasn’t on purpose. It was a wild ride. I laughed. I cried. I felt sad. I cheered! More than anything though, I felt an overwhelming amount of gratitude for this platform that has allowed me to connect with SO many people.

Sometimes the negativity involved with blogging makes me want to hibernate. I’ve never seriously considered giving up The Dainty Squid but I’ve definitely had times when showing up here every day to share my life was the last thing I wanted to do. I’m not exactly a social butterfly so putting myself out there can be a challenge to begin with but then pile that on top of the fact that the internet can be a REALLY cruel place. I can’t even begin to list all the stupid things I’ve read about myself, and gotten in comments. Honestly, it can be easy to forget how many people I do have cheering for me.

I normally share a list of things I’m thankful for each year but with that post and all the responses so fresh in my mind I really just wanted to dedicate the whole post to you guys. I am so incredibly grateful for all of you out there reading. I feel lucky that so many of you show up here day after day to read about my silly adventures, look at all the photos I take, giggle at my adorable pets, and celebrate all of life’s little victories with me. It’s crazy to me that there are so many of you out there all around the world who visit my little space on the internet daily. (Seriously, how in the heck did all you guys from the UK find me?! I’ve got huge numbers over there!)  It also never ceases to amaze me when people tell me how long they’ve been reading The Dainty Squid. I mean, so many of us have basically grown up together! It’s wild.

More than ever I feel super connected to my blog and everyone out there reading. Your comments, emails, tweets, and even likes mean so much. I may not know very many of you personally but you’re still a huge part of my life.

Sorry to include a photo of Squid mean muggin’ y’all in this post where I tell you how much I love you.

 So yeah, THANK YOU! Thank you. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart!
xoxo

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underground

by Kaylah Stroup

There are some shenanigans my friends and I get into that I don’t blog about for one reason or another. Exploring tunnels is one of these things for a handful of reasons. One important thing being I would never want to encourage you to do something potentially dangerous. Flash floods are real, and air quality should always be something you’re thinking about. Second, they aren’t really all that glamorous, and in the past I really struggled with how to photograph them.

I’ve expressed my frustrations with night photography in the past but this like a step past night photography. These tunnels are completely dark in most cases. No light at all. It’s up to you and your flashlight to put together a cool shot. The dozen or so times previous to this that I’ve been underground I didn’t really take all that many photos. In a situation that is kind of new to me it’s tough for me to want to experiment when the people around seem so confident and like they know exactly what they’re doing. I don’t know if that make any sense at all especially since I’m confident my friends wouldn’t judge me for any potentially crappy photos.

This time I was really feeling it though! It’s such a great feeling to be excited to sort through your photos at the end of an adventure. I’m so thankful to have friends who put me in unique situations and encourage me to grow as a photographer, whether they mean to or not.

someone lost their purse!

In the past I always just set up to take the same or very similar shots that my friends were taking. Basically just long exposures where someone was silhouetted – kind of like this one or this one Jeff took of me. It was almost like I felt I couldn’t shoot anything other than that because I was just learning to take long exposures to begin with so I wanted to get that perfect shot. This time I went into with the notion that I wanted to capture the experience, not the perfect photos, and I am so so so excited about what I got.

My favorites of the bunch are the long exposures weird light trails from out flashlights, and ghost-like figures, like the one below. I picked that up near the end of our little adventure on accident and then promptly decided I had to shoot like that more. The first photo in this post is absolute favorite. I had everyone walk away from me while I took a thirty second exposure. It was a super long, super dark, thirty seconds which I spent singing quietly to calm the thoughts of tunnel monsters but it was so worth it.

underground, tunnel

My goal as a photographer is to always be growing, experimenting, and learning new skills. In the last two years I have done SO much of this. I’m curious to see where I’ll be in another few years. I can’t wait to get back and play around more!
xoxo

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Klaus @ the beach!

by Kaylah Stroup
world’s most handsome puppy!

These last few weeks Klaus and I have had to schedule our walks around the times that my landlord wanted to show my apartment. Klaus is an excellent dog. He never chews anything he shouldn’t. He’s never had an accident in the house. He doesn’t just randomly bark like some dogs buuuut he does bark at strangers. If someone comes over he doesn’t know, pulls in our driveway or walks in front of our house while we’re outside – that’s when he barks. Not only that but he has a REALLY frightening bark. I trust that he would never hurt me but if I didn’t know him I would definitely be scared of him. Obviously, I figured it’d probably be best to get him out of the house while it was being shown to potential renters.

Despite my best efforts, he’s never really liked the beach. Any time in the past I’ve taken him he’s just been a nervous wreck. This last showing, I just didn’t feel like walking around the neighborhood again so I loaded him up and we went to the beach to give it yet another chance. Surprisingly this time, he didn’t completely hate it! He even put his front paws in the water which is huge deal considering the fact that I think the noise of the waves coming in was what really freaked him out the most on previous visits.

We wandered to the far end of the beach, and I did my best to tie his leash up to some driftwood. It wasn’t super secure but he was happy to just lay down beside me while I fiddled with all the tiny pieces of trash I gathered for a new found on the beach arrangement. It ended up being a ton of fun! I loved sitting in the sand with him and just soaking in the sun. Warm November sunshine, time with Klaus, and making pretty things out of nothing – these are a few of my favorite things.

raninbow trash, cleveland, lake erie

It took long enough but this puppy and I might finally be beach buds! I just need to find a better way to tie him up, maybe just a way longer leash? Any ideas?
xoxo

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what I wore : five years later

by Kaylah Stroup
green hair, cleveland fashion blog, blogger, ohio, ootd
cleveland blogger, green hair, autumn fashion, the dainty squid
ootd details
punky colours, jerome russell, green hair, ootd, wiw, cleveland blogger

 

details 
dress – Modcloth (many years ago)
glasses – Bevy c/o Classic Specs
belt – Modcloth
tights – Target

Last Sunday we threw a surprise party for grandpa’s 85th birthday.  I drove out early in the morning (after speed cleaning my apartment because my landlord texted me to say she’d be coming by), made a few pit stops to shoot foggy photos, helped my parents set up, partied, ate too much, helped them tear down, blah blah blah. It was a super busy day. I really really wanted to squeeze in outfit photos though.

Five years ago we actually threw my grandpa surprise party for this 80th. Before going I took outfit photos that I considered some of my favorites for a long time. See them here! I liked the outfit, the photos were pretty and I felt like I looked really good. I even thought this the other day while glancing back at the post. Even though I don’t own those clothes anymore, I like any excuse to draw parallels between different times, events, blog posts, etc. The thing that would connect these two would be that they were both taken on the day we threw a surprise party for my grandpa. So I was really excited when the sun stayed in the sky long enough for me to grab a few quick shots.

It wasn’t until I got through editing these photos that I realized how sad I looked in that last post. I’m not saying that not smiling in photos makes you look sad. I actually really hate that notion. I just feel like in the photos from last weekend my happiness is contagious. I found myself grinning while editing them. Even if there was a huge stain on my dress that I didn’t notice until now. I have nothing more to elaborate on, just wanted to say life is good. (Oh, and holy cow, I LOVE MY LONG HAIR like a lot a lot a lot!)
xoxo

“Mom! We’re at Grandma’s house. I wanna run, not sit for photos!”

 

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digit review / how I saved $500 in four months

by Kaylah Stroup

2024 UPDATE: Digit is now called Oportun. I’m leaving this review as is though because I still stand by it. All these years later, I’m still using the app.

One of my goals for 2016 was to save money… which next to “get fit” is probably one of the most popular goals in the world that no one ever actually accomplishes, right? Yeah, well this year I DID IT, all thanks to Digit! Hilariously enough this post, which is not sponsored, sounds more like a sponsored post than ones I’m paid to write. Hang with me here though because this simple app may have been one of the best things I started using this year.

It was around this time last year that my friend Jake told Jeff and I about Digit, a money saving app he used. He really liked it because it was an easy way to save money without even thinking about it. I think Jeff signed up right away but I just kept forgetting. Whatever, it was just another app to take up space on my phone, or so I thought. Eventually, on the last day of May of this year, I signed up. Within no time at all I realized what an awesome app it was. In my midyear goal update I mentioned it and said how I’d probably end up doing a review if I still liked it a few months later. Since then I’ve been trying to think of a way to bring it up without it seeming super out of place. While I blog about a wide range of things, from cemeteries and abandoned buildings to hair tips and my favorite bath products, money saving tips some how just seem a little too unrelated to my normal content. Until Digit saved my butt and I couldn’t help but shout praise from the rooftops…

Not too long ago I noticed that my car, which I bought at the very very end of last year, was a little bit louder than normal. I asked my dad about it and he said it was no big deal and they we’d fix it next time I came over. I continued to drive my car, even taking a few hour trip to check out a some cemeteries. (These ones!) When I started my car at the last stop of that trip it was WAY louder than normal. Something was definitely wrong. At stop signs and red lights it was rattling so loud that I was embarrassed to be sitting there. I pulled over the first chance I got and tried to identify where the noise was coming from but it honestly sounded like it was coming from everywhere. I decided to just drive home, no matter how noisy, and immediately call somewhere to get it fixed when I got back.

Long story short, my bill which I presumed would be well under one hundred dollars for some sort of muffler repair ended up being just over $500. I was heartbroken. I bought this newer, more expensive car because I didn’t feel like dealing with the repairs I’d most likely have to do on something cheaper with more miles. Then BAM! I get hit with this bill. Adulthood, woooo!

After sulking, fighting back the tears, and even trying to convince myself I didn’t even really need a car I remembered how I had just been so excited about reaching $500 in my Digit account! While I still wasn’t stoked to have to pay that much, I mean who would be? I was super happy to be able to afford the repairs without digging into my savings or even touching my rent/grocery/bill money.

Digit sends you fun GIFs when you reach certain savings milestones!

So, what the heck is Digit? Digit is a money saving app. It’s very, very straight forward and takes no time at all to set up. You simply connect Digit to your bank account, it checks your spending habits and if you can afford it, takes a little bit out of your account to save. How often they save depends on your “unique financial situation” but the average is 2-3 times per week. The amount also varies. Their FAQ says the average is $10-30 which from my experience sounds about right.

There isn’t much to do or see in the app, other than how much you’ve saved but what else do you need? If you feel it’s taking too much money from your account you can type “save less” or if you’d like it to take more type “save more”. You never have to worry about Digit taking more than you can afford though. They even have a no-overdraft guarantee! I’ve definitely noticed that at the end of the month when I pay all my bills the amounts digit takes are much smaller. They’ve never transferred more than they should have from me. In the four and half months I’ve been using it I saved five hundred dollars that I know for a fact I wouldn’t have saved otherwise. It’s safe (FDIC insured!), it’s free, it’s easy, and in my opinion ITS THE BEE’S KNEES.

I’m decent with money. I don’t have any debt outside of my car payment but I know I could be better with savings. It’s like I’m greedy with myself. I never move all that much money to my savings account. Instead it stays in my checking where after all my bills are paid I end up treating it as bonus money (AKA money I’ll spend on dumb things I don’t need instead of saving it for the things I really want, like to travel!) Since signing up for Digit, I still transfer money to my bank savings account but Digit has become my second savings account that I don’t even
have to think about.

So yeah, maybe you’ll end up saving enough for a family vacation or maybe it’ll just be enough to buy that fancy overpriced candle you want, either way it’s savings without any effort! I’m super excited to start getting my account back to where it was. I can’t recommend Digit enough!
xoxo

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my top ten cemeteries!

by Kaylah Stroup
best cemeteries, favorite cemeteries, graveyard

In nearly every aspect of my life I think young Kaylah would approve of how adult Kaylah lives her life. I’ve got a handful of critters that I can’t imagine life without. (I used to wish for kittens while I blew on dandelions. Not that we ever had a shortage of pets!) My hair is always dyed a fun color, and my fashion sense is basically the same albeit a little bit cooler. Long live overalls! There is one thing area where I feel I’d be a let down – Halloween. For the last few years I haven’t even considered dressing up for Halloween. I guess I just don’t see the need. Halloween parties aren’t really my jam so spending the time and money to create something unique just isn’t a priority and I actually feel a little sad about it. I was disappointed to see that Halloween fell on a Monday this year and not the weekend… because that meant I’d have to post something on the big day. I’m sorry I don’t have any ~totally cute last minute costume ideas~ for you to add to your Pinterest board but I do have a list of my top ten cemeteries. Lets be real, that’s way cooler anyway, at least in my book!

I’ve visited numerous cemeteries over the years. I don’t think there has ever been one I didn’t like but some definitely stand out above others. These are in no particular order, except my number one which you will find listed last. A portion are located in Ohio, which should be no surprise since I live here, but the others are all across the US. Below each photo is the name of the cemetery which will link you to the original blog post for more photos!

Rehoboth Mission Cemetery
Rehoboth, New Mexico

Choosing a photo of this cemetery to include in this post was hard. Do I share the view that initially attracted me there? Or do I share one of the many unique memorials found inside? Rehoboth is still and will most likely remain for a very long time one of the most unique places I have ever been. I mean, how often do you see a grave surrounded in hot pink bricks?

Big Springs, West Virginia

While not the most grand cemetery, it was easily one of the most interesting to get to. We had to park in a stranger’s driveway, cross a stream on foot, and then hike up a hill where a bunch of cows were grazing. This is my family cemetery, and looking back at the post I wrote on it I’m kicking myself for not taking more photos. Visiting with my mom and grandpa was a super special experience.

Mt Vernon, Ohio

Old headstones, tons of symbolism, and the grave of two famous sideshow performers – what more could you ask for?

philadelphia
 Laurel Hill Cemetery
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

I could spend days exploring Laurel Hill Cemetery and still feel like it wasn’t enough. 74 acres means there is lots to see. Unique headstones galore! I visited three years ago around this time and can’t express just how beautiful it was. Well worth the drive!

Bennington, Vermont

Fan of Robert Frost? Well this is where he’s buried! While that might be the selling point for most, I was more intrigued by the old stones with strange carvings. This place is packed with history and even has a beautiful old church on the property. Make sure to check out the Walloomsac Inn across the street if you visit!

Savannah, Georgia

To be fair, I don’t actually recall whether the photo above is of Laurel Grove or Bonaventure. Anyone know? I visited both while in Savannah a few years ago, and didn’t keep my photos organized very well. There were a few others as well, and I loved all of them but I was a bit more taken by Laurel Grove. Spanish moss and cemeteries are a match made in heaven! I am dying to get back and see more. (Next month! Ah!)

Columbus, Ohio

Brown Pet Cemetery is the only cemetery that has ever made me cry. The relationships between people and their pets always gets me! Pictured above is my favorite headstone there. In a time when photography wasn’t as prevalent as it is now it’s amazing that someone loved their kitty so much they got glamour shots of her taken.

Cleveland, Ohio

Monroe Street Cemetery is my local cemetery. (Technically it’s not the closest one to my house but that one is all fenced off and trespassing seems out of the question since it’s in the middle of a residential area.) I’ve really come to love this place. I’ve spend countless hours wandering around, and taking photos yet I still manage to find something new each time I visit. If you happen to go, make sure to check out the tiny, old hidden headstones along the fence by the scrapyard. Those are some of my favorites. In the summer they’re nearly hidden by vines.

Danville, Ohio

Workman Cemetery was a random find in the middle of nowhere that ended up being one of my absolute favorites. Old headstones, and overgrown patches – a place after my heart! I honestly still love looking through my photos from this location. The colors and depth of field make it seem like something from a dream world.

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Mount Moriah is the cemetery of my dreams. Easily one of the most beautiful places I’ve ever been. I can only imagine how awesome it looks this time of the year will fall foliage. I honestly still can’t believe it was real and that within a few days of even knowing it existed that I got explore it. While I certainly hope conditions improve and the volunteers continue to help clean up, I’m super stoked to have been able to see it all overgrown.

So maybe I won’t be dressed up in a fun costume tonight but rest assured I am wearing my skeleton leggings and my dog is in his skeleton costume so maybe young Kaylah would think I was still cool. You know, that and the fact that I have a job where I can make a list of my ten favorite cemeteries!

Do you have a favorite cemetery? Any awesome cemeteries near you I should check out when I eventually make it out your way? I’ve got a running list, always looking to add more!
xoxo

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my 8 favorite beauty products!

by Kaylah Stroup

“Beauty blogging” is something I’m always dipping my toes in but can never seem to commit to. I’m a dabbler in make-up. I love to try new things but most doesn’t stick around for too long so I never get around to blogging about it. I’m not incredibly talented and could probably use a few pointers from friends but I do have a short list of beauty products I LOVE and purchase over and over again.

My 8 favorite beauty products!
▴ Hask Placenta. I think in all of my hair related posts I’ve made it abundantly clear how much I love Hask Placenta. It’s hair magic, you guys! That’s all I’ve got to say about that!

▴ Coconut oil. Hi! Welcome to the internet. Have you heard about our lord and savior, coconut oil? Seriously though, coconut oil is a must have and just about everyone ever has written a post about it. I use coconut oil for A LOT of different things. My top three uses – to shave with, make-up remover, and oil pulling. If you search on Google, there are literally lists upon lists of what you can do with it. Once you try shaving with coconut oil though, you’ll never want to use anything else again. Sooo smooooth. It’s also Professor ‘s favorite product. That little cat just hears me pick up the jar and comes running. It’s good for pet’s coats! I usually give him a small amount or else he just licks it off my legs.

▴ Argan oil. I only started using argan oil when I got my curling wand last month but I will never be without it again. It makes my hair so shiny, and so soft without making it greasy. It also makes my hands super soft in the process, and I love the way it smells! I feel like it makes my hair twice as pretty!

▴ St. Ives Timeless Skin Facial Moisturizer. I’m pretty forgetful when it comes to putting lotion on any part of my body other than my face (probably because I’m already so silky from coconut oil! Hah!) but I always use moisturizer after hopping out of the shower. I’ve tried a handful of others but always come back to St. Ives. This stuff leaves my face feeling soft and moisturized but never greasy.

▴ Seche Vite. You NEED this top coat. Seche Vite is the top coat of all top coats. It dries quickly and keeps my nails chip free for days. Since originally discovering it years ago I haven’t painted my nails once without finishing up with this stuff.

▴ Maybelline colorblur lip pencil. Despite having bought and tried LOTS of different lipsticks, I still feel fairly inexperienced in the whole world of lip color. I’ve found a handful things I love, a few that I hated, a couple that I don’t know how I existed without.  My-My Magenta and I Like to Mauve It are two colors I own of this line and gah! they’re so good. They feel really nice on your lips, and the color lasts! I kind of want to buy a lifetime supply just in case they ever get discontinued.

▴ NYX Illuminating Stick. I bought this on a whim and was kind of shocked with how much I came to love this stuff! It comes in a variety of colors. I randomly chose “chardonnay shimmer” which was the perfect choice. One quick swipe in each spot I want to shimmer, a tiny bit of blending, and I have beautiful highlights!

▴ IT Cosmetics Celebration Foundations. I found this stuff through youtube one day. It was more than I ever wanted to spend on a single item of makeup but after watching the infomercial on QVC I couldn’t resist. I LOVE this stuff. Reading over the reviews I see that they’re actually pretty mixed right now but a lot of the complaints sound like what happens when you apply too much. A little bit goes a long way! This stuff is so easy to apply and gives me effortless full coverage in no time at all.

the dainty squid, beauty blogger, list of favorites

Notable mentions!
▴ Stila Stay All Day Waterproof Eyeliner. Probably the best eyeliner out there! Why is it only a notable mention? Because I don’t currently own any. I wanted this post to be things I genuinely always have on hand. Despite loving this eyeliner I often purchase different brands when I run out of it because I like to try new things. I always come back to it though!

▴ Jojoba Oil. Makes an excellent make-up remover (some people even claim it makes your eyelashes grow!) You can put it in your hair to make it smooth and shiny. Rub on your hands for beautiful cuticles. I even use it to shine my plugs! Why is it only a notable mention? Because since finding coconut oil I don’t use it as often. I felt the need to include it though since I know some people aren’t interested in using coconut oil.

▴ Tinted lip balms! Tinted lip balms are my go-to when I don’t want to commit to lipstick for the day. Why are they only a notable mention? I don’t have a favorite brand, and in all honesty, I’ve never tried one I didn’t like. My top three right now are Burt’s Bees in Rose, NYX butter lip balm in panna cotta, and Wet N’ Wild natural blend in spice.

What are some of your all time favorite beauty products?
xoxo

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just me, in my element

by Kaylah Stroup

Have you ever seen a photo of someone and thought “dang! I wish that was a picture of me!”? Not in the sense that you’d like to look like them but that you’d like to be in their location, doing what they’re doing. That they look like they’re enjoying themselves or that they look confident. That’s how I feel about this photo of myself… which is probably a pretty strange thing to admit. Let me try to explain though.

I’ve been living in Cleveland for just under three years now. It was actually around this time three years ago that I was mentally preparing to start a new life. I know I’ve mentioned it quite a few times, how excited I am to be in this city, and how different my life is but I’ve never really gotten into the details. I even got a weird passive aggressive email once about how I’m “really vague” when I talk about it and that I should just stop mentioning it if I wasn’t going to give the whole story. I guess I never really felt like I was being vague. In my mind some things don’t need explaining, they’re just obvious. I was in a crappy relationship where I felt stuck, and had severe social anxiety. Maybe things weren’t that obvious though, maybe I was good at hiding it.

In life before Cleveland I was so shy that it was painful to do just about everything. I hated talking to basically anyone I didn’t know. I barely left my house. I was even afraid to ride my bike around the block. But I was in a relationship, I owned a home at young age, and I was “happy” so what else did I need? It’s so weird to even type that stuff. It almost feels like I’m like I have to be talking about someone else’s life because it’s so far from where I’m at right now. Had I not written it then I probably would have pushed it out of my memory. In that post about riding my bike around the block I even wrote about how I couldn’t wait to look back and realize how stupid it was. At the time I hoped I could overcome but I didn’t know just how different life could really be.

I’ll never forget when I moved into my first apartment alone and someone anonymously (OF COURSE) left a snarky comment about what a “downgrade” it was moving to this small apartment. It hurt my feelings at the time because it was a really brave thing for me to go out on my own like that. Less than a year before, prior to getting my license, I hadn’t even been anywhere by myself! Didn’t they understand that it didn’t matter where I was living, the fact was that my life was about to be majorly upgraded? (I also stand by the fact that, huge life changing stuff aside, that was a super cute apartment.)

I’m trying to write more personal posts for the blog. Ya know, share more of whats going on under this green hair of mine. Maybe they’ll inspire you, or maybe they’ll just give you a better idea of who I am, and where I’m at. They’ll definitely be a little discombobulated and ramble-y. Talking about life BC* is uncomfortable for me. I mean, who wants to dig around in their past like that, especially for a bunch of strangers to read but that photo of me on my bike sparked something. I remember looking at photos of other bloggers posed in front of brick walls and wishing I could have photos of myself like that but how could I when simply going in my own fenced in backyard to take outfit photos made me anxious. This photo of me, to me, is a visual representation of how far I’ve come these last few years. I look so confident, like I’m really in my element. I’m super proud of me. I’ve come a long long way.

Here’s to continuing to grow, pushing myself out of my comfort zone as often as possible, and kicking ass!
xoxo

*BC – before Cleveland, obviously! 😉

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